Nationals

So, as some of you may know, I sort of went to Nationals in speech this year. It certainly wasn't the dream I had originally planned on. In fact (as my last post mentions), debate was my big thing. But if you don't believe that God is surprising or that God has a fantastic ability to work beyond your wildest imagination, you're in for a unique journey.

It took a long time, but when I got to Nationals, God granted me a good attitude. Instead of caring about impressing judges and other competitors or having "We are the Champions" playing in the back of my mind, I just wanted to deliver a message. I didn't even know what kind of message I wanted to deliver--I just wanted to speak to people's hearts. Well, I got that chance.

From Day One, God gave me the best impromptu speeches I've ever delivered. They weren't eloquent--but they were passionate. They were honest. And you'd better believe that they scared me to death. You see, I was using impromptu to tell people about the lessons I've learned. Its really hard to admit your mistakes, especially when you're being judged on your delivery. But that's what God wanted--so I did it.

There's so much to say about my journey. There are so many blessings that I learned in those moments. God showed me so much grace throughout the journey. But I want to skip past the breaks (Suffice it to say I went further than I ever imagined or deserved) and focus on my last round. In finals, I've come to realize that I delivered the best speech of my life. It wasn't the most intellectual speech (ask the judges for confirmation--its true), but it was the most important because I was given a chance to apologize for my terrible attitude to some of the competitors I hurt the most. Have you ever had a chance to say you're sorry to people you don't know how to reach out to? Its an incredible feeling.

I was shaking throughout the speech, but there was beauty there. Even as the words left my mouth, I could feel that my message was sinking in somewhere. At first, I thought it was for the judges. It wasn't. That speech was for my friends who sat in that room, their ears straining to hear each broken word. Through that speech, I said I'm sorry and I said goodbye. I talked about what you want written on your epitaph in that speech. But what I was really thinking about was what sort of legacy I would leave on NCFCA. I know now that my legacy is that I did my best to touch the lives of those around me. It might not be a long lasting legacy. But its the best legacy I could ever imagine.

So, goodbye NCFCA! I'll miss you--but its time to go. God's got a big plan for me, and its only just unfolding.